ON JUNE 19, 2013, I WAS KILLED…

 

 

 

Dead in the street.

 

Mangled, bloody, shattered and…

 

 DEAD.

 

Life can go from light to dark in an instant.

IN MY TIME OF DYING

TRIUMPH OVER TRAGEDY

Overcoming Body Injury, Brain Trauma and the Near Death Experience 

 

In My Time of Dying is a blog-to-book experience.

This book, my fifth, will be published here, online for free, as it is written and developed.

These blog-to-book posts are NOT edited! These are crude, rough drafts! As an award winning author, I rely on editors to clean up the garbage! So if you’re an English major and see some no-brainer errors, LET IT GO!

Finish product writing goes through FIVE editing processes! And the finish text is usually 2/3 of the rough draft work. Once 80% completed, the drafts will be sent to editing and will then be published in print and eBook as I enter the sound studios to record the audio book.

ANYWAY… ENJOY!

 

Chapter ‘0’

Believing the Unbelievable

Comfortable and secure, I was working in my private, corner office overlooking the park in a suburb of Los Angeles when three clients called to reschedule.

 I went from a full schedule as a private practice counselor to having several hours to fill.

My publisher had been nagging me to get a physical check-up as the research for my new book had health risks, so I decided to go to my local clinic for the check-up.

  • If only one or two clients rescheduled, I would have remained in my office for the day.

I exited my parking garage on my motorcycle and turned right instead of left.

 In the several years of working in that office I never once exited turning right instead of left.

The right turn had traffic and stop lights and the left was a quiet side street into town.

 To this day I do not know, and never will know, why I turned right instead of left on that particular day, but I did.

Four blocks farther, I paused at a stop light to turn left.

When the turn arrow went green I eased out to turn and an oncoming driver in a full size SUV, went through his red light and hit me in the face, killing me instantly.

Killed.

Dead in the street.

Mangled, bloody, shattered and…

 DEAD.

COINCIDENTAL MIRACLES

 

Going through the intersection at that very moment was a Lutheran priest. He held my head in his hands and read me my last rites.

Sixty meters (65 yards) away, two paramedics were in the front of a fast food drive-thru waiting on their burgers.

 The two emergency medical responders saw the accident occur and were on the scene in seconds bringing my body back to life.

  • If they had wanted tacos instead of burgers that day

I would not be here.

  • If they had been in the back of that drive-thru line

I would not be here.        

They brought my body back to life, but my condition was critical.

I was in a stage three Glasgow coma, defined as “deep-coma or death”.

Stage three is the lowest scale of living, virtually synonymous with dead.

I was rushed to ICU.

  • Had the accident happened near my home, I would’ve been too far to make it to ICU in time and I would not be here.

At the moment of the accident, my son’s close friend was passing through that particular intersection, even though:

  • He lives nowhere near there.

  • He is rarely to never in that area.

  • He had a sudden errand at Dept. of Motor Vehicles at that exact time at that exact corner.

He phoned my son, telling him paramedics were pushing me into an ambulance.

This is how my family was alerted to the emergency.

  • Paramedics had no way to alert anyone or identify me.

  • My phone and ID had been lost in the crash.

My loved ones converged at the hospital and were met by two doctors… and a priest.

They were told it was unlikely I would ever wake up and that if I did; my brain trauma was so severe that I would probably be bed ridden for life and need cared for as long as I continued to breathe.

  • My girlfriend collapsed and fainted

They were told that my face had been so damaged that, even with extensive plastic surgery, I would remain scarred and misshapen.

I could not breathe on my own because of coma depth

and three punctures to my lungs.

Notice the facial contusion in the image to the left. The other side of my face is WAY worse.

Other images are my birthday coma awakening. A black eye was the only blemish.

BACK FROM THE DEAD

 

I awoke nine days later.

                    On my birthday.

  • I did not know who I was.

  • I did not know how to talk.

  • I did not know how to walk.

 I did not know what a hospital was, what a motorcycle accident was or even what life and death were. I did not know who the young man sitting at my bedside was: my 20 year old son.

I did not know who the worrying woman in my room was: my girlfriend of 11 years.

My soul had left my body for those nine days.

I do not suspect this; I know it. I know that my soul did not re-enter my body until after I awoke from my coma nine days later.

How do I know this?

I know it the same way you know there is a China and a solar system and that it will be dark tonight and light tomorrow.

Even though you’ve never been to China, toured the solar system or can see into the future, it is a crystal clear, intuitive awareness.

I do not need tangible, scientific proof or historical evidence that the sun will be up tomorrow nor do I require it to know my soul was in a dormant state and not inhabiting my body for nine days.  

My soul was in a transitional state; in between physical form and spiritual form.

It was…

                pending.

If you’re mystically inclined or trained you might’ve picked up a rather supernatural detail:

 

My soul was out of my body for NINE days.

 

This is powerfully significant as the frequency and vibration of the number nine carries endings which

are the seeds for beginnings:

 

Death and birth.

Birth and death.

Death and RE-birth.

My soul left my body upon impact and instant death and went directly to the Bardo—

the in-between state of existing.

It’s kinda like where Beetlejuice was in the waiting room;

a place your soul and mind exist with no body as you await your reincarnation assignment.

 

My soul returned to my physical body nine earth-days later on my birthday, June 28.

Once again, those mystically trained and inclined in Numerology, astrology and other modalities are

shaking their heads right now. The nine days in the bardo and the return on my birthday means I

reincarnated:

 

AS MYSELF.

TWO SIDES OF NOT THE SAME COIN

 

I’m going to share with you the two sides of this experience: the conventional science of my severe injuries and recovery, and the supernatural science of my resurrection.

I’ve become a medical miracle.

I am confident that my triumph over tragedy can give not only comfort and inspiration to those suffering tragedy, but can provide useful tools and strategies to assist others to recover themselves.

I must report what I have experienced:

There is only one thing worse than suffering:

          Suffering for no reason.

 

I choose to convert my suffering into something meaningful.

When my soul left my physical body, I had a raw, subtle awareness.

 I did not watch or view my rescuers or the accident scene in an Out-of-Body-Experience.

 My soul teleported from my physical form to a timeless, spaceless dimension.

 I knew this timeless, spaceless dimension as The Portal. It is called The Bardo in Sanskrit.

 

My body remained without a soul for nine days.

Once it left my body it was unable, or not permitted, to return.

My body had been brought back to life, but my soul was trapped outside of it.

While it was on the other side, a divine and spiritual presence linked with my mind and spirit and I became aware of many things about life, death and existence.

It is not possible to convey how I was communicated with while within The Portal.

The concepts, knowledge and evidence I received there were somewhat telepathic; sort of uploaded into my mind.

I had access, possession and awareness of them.

To be more accurate, they just appeared, in entirety, without confusion or need for explanation.

Life-Review

A common phrase of a near death experience is,

 “I saw my entire life flash before my eyes.”

I too, had the common experience of a life-review as my soul separated from my body, with a significant added feature:

  • I did not see just my LIFE pass before my eyes. I saw my LIVES pass before my eyes: Plural!

I did not witness only the significant events of my current life. I witnessed an entire, surreal slide-show review of not just this life, but several lives spanning epochs, eras and centuries of multiple lifetimes.

 

This book, In My Time of Dying—Triumph Over Tragedy is about to provide you with two sides of this coin:

My physical, clinical and medical recovery from death and DAI brain injury as well as my supernatural experience of dying, traveling to the other side, what I experienced there and the challenges I faced as my soul struggled to reintegrate with my body and identity after nine days of separation.

Half of this book, every other chapter, will explore and explain the medical, or material dimension, of my recovery and is presented as a journey.

I will not only be sharing with you what I did to recover, but how I did it and how I crafted a unique strategy that has defied medical science, making me by all definitions, a medical miracle.

The other half of this book, the even numbered chapters, explore the supernatural features of my death experience.

Much of what I gained and witnessed is incapable of being expressed in regular language, so I will occasionally use the form of Socratic Dialogue, like a conversation, such as:

 

Q: “Where am I? Am I dead?”

A: “Your physical body has died and your spirit has come here to determine if you should or shall return to who you were.”

 

Q: Why is my death experience so lonely and shadowy?

I’m not experiencing white light, love, comfort from departed loved ones or angels. I’ve heard many tales of these being features of death.

Am I undeserving of them?

A: You are not being deprived of benevolence in your death experience.

Your faith and confidence in the Divine is stable and mature, as is your certainty of life beyond death. The Spiritual Government

provides comforting images and presences to those who need them to cope and adjust to the dying experience.

God is merciful and allows reflections of what a soul understands love to be in an effort to comfort them.

The presence of white light, departed loved ones, spirit animals, angels or other personalities are extracted from a soul’s spirit. What they experience and witness are expressions and reflections of their own definitions of love and comfort.

Do you require solace to accept what is happening to you and to know the Divine loves you unconditionally and limitlessly?

 

No.

 

In truth, this did not occur as a conversation. I did not “wonder” or “ask” anything and there was no one present to talk with, yet I was not alone either as Divine presences was with me.

 

I am an experienced, award winning author and public presenter because of my creative, adventurous style with narrative-non-fiction.

My first book, A Stone’s Throw, has won six awards for being an extraordinary true story told with my uniquely passionate voice.

A Stone’s Throw affects people; changing their personal and world view, and I hope In My Time of Dying will do the same.

There are a few features to my Near-Death-Experience (AKA—NDE) that seem unusual. While it is well known within the NDE community that no two NDE’s are alike, there are common features to many of them.
But only a few have features that set them truly apart, while still maintaining the full-blown NDE qualifications.
  • I was “dead” for nine days.
    • Most NDE experiences are moments, some minutes, but very few are for more than moments.
  • My death and resurrection circumstances are wildly extraordinary.
    • The features mentioned about the events that led to the death and rescue circumstances (the close by pastor, paramedics, awakening on my birthday…)
  • My “life-review” was of multiple lifetimes, providing me undeniable evidence of reincarnation.
    • Most NDE’s have current life-review only.
  • This was actually my SECOND Near-Death-Experience: I was born a nuchal baby, my umbilical chord around my neck, and was revived at birth by the doctor.
  • My body was severely impaired after revival.
    • Most NDE accounts are of people who feel a new lease on life, revitalized by their NDE and physically well enough to live fully.
    • I could not function at all upon revival and was not glad to be living.
There are a few features to my Near-Death-Experience (AKA—NDE) that seem unusual. While it is well known within the NDE community that no two NDE’s are alike, there are common features to many of them.
But only a few have features that set them truly apart, while still maintaining the full-blown NDE qualifications.
  • I was “dead” for nine days.
    • Most NDE experiences are moments, some minutes, but very few are for more than moments.
  • My death and resurrection circumstances are wildly extraordinary.
    • The features mentioned about the events that led to the death and rescue circumstances (the close by pastor, paramedics, awakening on my birthday…)
  • My “life-review” was of multiple lifetimes, providing me undeniable evidence of reincarnation.
    • Most NDE’s have current life-review only.
  • This was actually my SECOND Near-Death-Experience: I was born a nuchal baby, my umbilical chord around my neck, and was revived at birth by the doctor.
  • My body was severely impaired after revival.
    • Most NDE accounts are of people who feel a new lease on life, revitalized by their NDE and physically well enough to live fully.
    • I could not function at all upon revival and was not glad to be living.

LAZERUS COME FORTH!

I have become a medical miracle.

 I have defied all scientific reasoning—mystifying specialists and this is significantly due to my NDE.

The NDE rewired my brain and body to different octaves, making me capable of things that seem impossible.

To be fair, my NDE also, removed and impaired other abilities. 

I gained many things, but tragically lost many too.

God seems to love irony.

I became like an idiot savant; grasping complex concepts like quantum physics and medicine, but could not button my shirt, tie my own shoes, drive a car or make a sandwich.

It has been postulated by many that I was chosen to have an NDE to report and help validate this phenomena.

That due to my “gift” of literary expression as a writer, I was “chosen” to document it.

That due to my extensive experience and training in theology and mysticism, I was more prepared and qualified to grasp and retain the meanings and qualities of my NDE.

 

Maybe… I don’t know…

WATCH ME PULL A RABBIT OUTTA MY HAT!

 

I don’t feel I am any more, or less, important than any other soul on earth, but sharing, teaching, guiding and mentoring others by example has been my life’s work.

My life’s trials and tribulations have been extraordinary:  

  • I’m an ex-criminal, dope-fiend, IV drug addict who recovered entirely on his own over 25 years ago.
  • I’m a single parent who singlehandedly changed superior court custody laws in California.
  • I’m a trained and certified ceremonial magician, master alchemist, mystic and theologian.
  • I have traveled the world to exotic, profound spiritual sites from the Vatican in Rome to ashrams in India and holy sites within caves and caverns.
  • I’ve been a material success with three business’ and have spent over a decade in a helping profession as a personal counselor.
  • I’ve innovated helping strategies and training methods that empower people with disorders, specializing in addiction beyond conventional medical methods.
  • I’m an author of four books and present live to educate and enlighten audiences for over fifteen years.
  • I experienced a full Kundalini (psychospiritual) awakening when I was twenty-seven.

And now…

I have miraculously survived DAI, traumatic brain injury, severe physical limitations, recovered 90% of my thinking and feeling abilities,
mystified the chief of brain neurology at UCLA medical center, came back from actual DEATH and retained all I was exposed to while on the
other side.
In spite of this, the ordeal has often been more than I could bear.
I am about as carpe diem, live life to the fullest as they come and yet, as my soul struggled to reintegrate with my physical identity and my brain
lost the ability to feel happiness, I seriously contemplated suicide, preferring to not exist.

Life can go from light to dark in an instant.

 
In a single instant my identity was erased:
I was loved, respected, materially successful, physically athletic, active and living a deeply spiritual and fulfilling life with meaning.
 In a single, unforeseeable instant I was dead; a lost, broken person with no identity or personal history who’s loved ones were total strangers.
Fueled by terror and pathological tenacity I abandoned everything I created:
sold my home, closed my practice and relocated 1200 miles away from my son and loved ones in a desperate attempt to rebuild who I was or die
in solitude and not be a burden to those who loved me.

 

With carefully crafted methods and hard-ass work, my brain began to heal and my soul and spirit began to stabilize with my body.
In a series of occasional, sudden flashes, my memory and identity restored entirely.
Within weeks of this restoration, I mysteriously and miraculously learned of the International Association of Near Death Studies, IANDS, and this
profound, smart organization gave me support and knowledge to study and make sense of my NDE.
Today…I am emerging and it is soooo good to be coming home!

 

I was a man with no history and no identity and now I’m me again, two-point-oh!
 

LIFE CAN ALSO GO FROM DARK TO LIGHT IN AN INSTANT!

WARNING!

These blog-to-book posts are NOT edited! These are crude, rough drafts! As an award winning author, I rely on editors to clean up the garbage! So if you’re an English major and see some no-brainer errors, LET IT GO!

Finish product writing goes through FIVE editing processes! And the finish text is usually 2/3 of the rough draft work. 

Still… I think you’ll enjoy the less refined work. I plan on publishing the edited portions of A Stone’s Throw soon. Lots of good stuff didn’t make it past the cutting room floor to keep the intense pace AST has.

The five awards AST won is largely for “voice” and the pace of the tale is very deliberate. Stephen King said editing good content was like, “killing your darlings…” I know what he meant as it is painful sometimes to edit out stuff that’s well crafted but is ultimately gratuitous.

ANYWAY… ENJOY!

BLOGS POST IN ORDER: MOST RECENT AT THE TOP, OLDER ONES AT BOTTOM. 

PLEASE SCROLL DOWN TO WHERE YOU LEFT OFF OR

START AT THE BOTTOM AND WORK YOUR WAY UP! 

Chapter 1: It Could be Worse

Chapter 1: It Could be Worse

1. It Could Be Worse (Reminder: Odd numbered chapters will be the material-corporeal-clinical recovery. Even numbered chapters will be the supernatural ones.)   It really sucks when the best thing you can say about your life is that it could be worse. Things can...

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Chapter ‘0’- DEATH and RESURRECTION (part II)

Chapter ‘0’- DEATH and RESURRECTION (part II)

BACK FROM THE DEAD I had not a blemish on my face nor a broken bone.       In spite of the doctors predicting it was a 98% chance I'd never wake up and would be severely scarred and misshapen even with extensive plastic surgeries I had the best...

read more