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ADDICTION & INTERVENTION

What do you do if you, or someone you know and love, has a drinking or drug problem?  Dealing with addiction is a complicated matter, even for a trained professional.  Too often, family members and individuals feel they can contain or control the situation, but the inevitable result is that the behavior only spins further out of control.  This is why there are over 15 million addicts in America today.

As any recovering addict will tell you, it is rarely a one person job to achieve abstinence and stay that way.  The underlying issues that contribute to addiction are like a mine-field for the untrained person.  Not only do the most immediate concerns about getting abuse under control need to be addressed, but eventually the underlying psychological issues need to be addressed.  If they’re not, relapse is bound to occur.  The bottom line: Quitting drugs and alcohol is one of the most challenging and painfully difficult experiences a person can endure. 

Only 12% of addicts who try to quit on their own succeed, compared to 75% who seek outside support and help.  There is a lot of help available since addiction is a national epidemic and exists in every area of society, from the wealthy to the poor, and knows no racial boundaries.  Years of someone’s valuable life can be lost to addiction.  Years that could have been productive and secure, if only…

The type of help available ranges from self-help groups like AA and NA to in-patient treatment facilities.  AA and NA are successful at providing support so long as someone keeps with the fellowship.  In-patient treatment is an option that can be costly and sometimes impossible due to work and family responsibilities.  In the middle is the outpatient treatment.  Private outpatient treatment allows someone to continue to live while recovering and adds the professional training and customized help the addict needs that is not available in self-help support groups.

This type of counseling is private and discreet, can involve the family and education so everyone knows how to deal with what is going on and teach how to prevent relapse and even facilitate interventions.  Interventions (like seen on A&E) are an important step in the recovery process and are sometimes the difference between life and death.  However, no one should ever perform an intervention without first consulting a professional interventionist.

Addiction needs to be looked upon as a disease.  And when someone has a disease, they need professional help to get well.  If they don’t, they could lose the best years from their lives and maybe lose their life altogether.  Addiction, no matter what stage it is in, should never be underestimated.  

Scott Spackey is a California Registered Addiction Specialist, Interventionist, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist & Life-Coach.              661-299-1966, Scott@Life-Mind.com

The recent scandals at the Pasadena Recovery Center have been tragic.  As a drug and alcohol counselor myself, it is difficult not to have strong opinions about this; to understand how several patients could overdose, commit suicide and be raped at a high profile facility and within a short period of time.  This is the same facility that is featured on the reality show “Celebrity Rehab” with radio & TV personality Dr. Drew Pinsky.

I am tired of hearing about expensive out-patient and in-patient recovery centers that offer little more than pre-fab formulas and glorified babysitting of those who truly need to be helped before they are lost forever to the disease of addiction.  An addict needs personal care, customized treatment and a counselor that cares more about the addict than they do about corporate policies, TV ratings, and upper management bonuses and salaries.

Addicts are very fragile, vulnerable and are in the middle of crisis; like a mountain climber needs a sherpa (guide) to climb Mt. Everest, a person needs an experienced and trained guide to take them through the process of recovery.  They should NEVER try to do it on their own; there is always help available.

Certainly not all treatment centers are bad, but I hope the public will continue to scrutinize carefully when considering treatment for their loved ones.  The treatment industry is highly profit driven and the grassroots counselors who are doing the heavy lifting are underpaid with tremendous responsibility, which attracts some less than qualified individuals, lacking the level of insight a complicated person needs.

So, what type of treatment is best?

Treatment facilities are expensive and a major downside is that when you put a bunch of addicts together, bad things can happen.  Addicts know that the easiest place to score drugs is at rehab!  Patients who are not trying to stay clean mix with those who are. 

A combination of counseling and 12 Step support is usually best.  12 Step fellowships are free and always around.  They have a well thought out program for sobriety, however, they are still a “support group” and lack training and objectivity. 

Private counseling is discreet, custom and personal.  Combined with 12 Step ideas, one-on-one guidance is effective and safe and gets results.  Don’t lose someone to addiction, it is never too early to get someone help if they’re using.

Addictive Personality

Many people who aren’t addicts suffer from addictive personality.  An addictive personality describes someone who has a high vulnerability to participate in behaviors they may, or may not, consciously know is wrong for them.   These are often called bad habits or negative behavioral patterns.  The most common ones are:

• Relationships:   Creating negative patterns in our personal relationships can include “drama”, abuse, dominance, submissiveness, passive-aggressiveness to name a few. 
• Drinking, drugs, smoking, sex, over-eating, thrill-seeking, and other behaviors that are done to excess.  This type of behavior can become very destructive.  This type of personality has a “need” to do everything to excess.  Subconsciously, they feel that if a little of something is good; then more is better.  Limitations become clouded and behavior goes out of control.
• Laziness, lethargy, over-sleeping, avoiding responsibilities.  This type of behavior is a subconscious attempt at avoidance and denial.  A lack of motivation sets in and life spirals downwards rather than up.
• Self-Sabotage:  One of the most common types of addictive behavior.  There are countless ways we can sabotage our personal and professional opportunities in life and have no conscious clue that we have even done so.  There are literally thousands of subtle traits we have that can make or break us.  These traits are deeply subconscious and usually go undetected and can be near impossible to correct on our own.

The causes for addictive personality are many.  Without proper evaluation, it is difficult to understand the cause, making solutions unattainable.  The root of addictive personality must be addressed and this always lies in the subconscious mind.  Conventional therapy deals almost exclusively with the conscious areas.  While proper conscious understanding is important, it does little to alleviate the problem: just knowing we have a problem has never yielded a working solution for change.

The best method is consultation with a professional who understands the workings of the mind on how to bring about practical changes in behavior to defeat the cause and the symptoms related to addictive personality.  An addictive personality can limit your ability to have a satisfying and fulfilling life-experience, yet it is easy to correct and 85% of those who seek help are completely successful.  If you feel this problem may be holding you, or someone you love, back then consult help today.

Scott Spackey is a California Registered Addiction Specialist, Interventionist,Llife-Coach and Clinical Hypnotherapist.    661-299-1966, Scott@Life-Mind.com

Troubled & Troubling Teens…

Over the years I have worked with so many teens I am now a specialist and expert in treating them.

Let’s face it: Teens are a pain in the expletive!  They’re selfish, unappreciative, ungrateful, loud, messy, mean, mouthy, reckless and destructive and I better stop here because this article is limited in space!  I know this because not only do I work with them each and every day, I have one myself who is 15 (Ugh…driver’s license is next… oh the humanity).

And then of course… there’s drugs.  What do we do when our kids try pot, alcohol, or worse?  Do we create a barrage of boundaries and strict rules?  This only seems to aggravate the situation and embolden them further.  Do we try to be “cool” and have the Cosby show style talk with them?  Then we risk making it too easy for them.  Do we ignore and click our heels 3 times, Wizard of Oz like and hope for the best?  That never works either.  Drugs are insidious.  Sinister.  Downright evil.  And if you think you know how dangerous they are, think again; they are FAR WORSE than you can imagine and you must do something to protect your children NOW.  Drug use will steal your children’s future and possibly their lives and this is no joke.  Rich, poor, good parents, bad ones, insecure, confident… none of these things matter because just like death and taxes, everyone is vulnerable to drug use, dependency, compulsion and addiction.

As a specialist with teens, drugs and the family dynamics involved I have good news: There is a way out and a way to save them and preserve all your years of hard parental work that you fear is rushing down a toilet drain. 

An objective professional can be more effective in getting through to a kid.  This is due to suggestibility and the lack of a history.  Our kids cease being suggestible to us when they turn around 13; this is natural, but aggravating.  A history of tension and resentment between kids and parents create an atmosphere of negativity and both parents and kids stop really hearing each other.  The same old song and dance gets repeated over and over. Since kids (and many parents( don’t listen to reason, it takes an objective professional who is an expert in subconscious behavior to properly motivate and create working changes. 

Scott Spackey is a State Certified Addiction Counselor, Life-Coach, Hypnotherapist, and Interventionist. www.LIFE-MIND.com  Scott@Life-Mind.com  661-299-1966

Troubled & Troubling Teens… (Continued)

Something new must be done if a different result is to be had.  An objective professional that “gets” the teen mindset is an entity the teen has no history with and can become eager to please when motivated properly. Only an expert in subconscious behavior can be effective in motivating properly because teens (and many parents) don’t listen to reason.

Kids DO want what is best for them and, with the right methods, will respond to reason when their subconscious needs are met as well as their conscious ones.  A teen’s needs and thinking process is like an alien planet to an adult’s.  Parents can academically understand and accept that their teens are different, but they have no objectivity towards their own kids so they continue to RE-act to their kids and situations instinctively, rather than use proper methods that their kids will respond to.  Parents cannot see the forest through the trees and unwittingly, but far too often, make things worse with pressure and criticism without even knowing they are doing it.   They lose their leverage and ability to control and watch helplessly as their teens sacrifice one positive thing after another for wasting time, smoking pot, going nowhere, doing nothing, etc.  In an attempt to correct the situation parents try to get involved, but are met with anger and resentment.  More tension, anger and rebelliousness emerge and the situation intensifies.

While every family and teenager is special and unique, there are some very reliable methods and strategies that can be used to get everyone back to a happier, trusting, agreeable state.  These strategies must be customized for the family, involving parents and teens to create a “contractual” life-style that meets everyone needs and diffuses emotions.  Learning and experimenting with new styles of behaving create more understanding and cooperation.  In time, kids get back on track, parents re-bond with their kids and life gets positive again. 

In my years of this kind of work, I have not yet met a family that could not succeed if they applied themselves to these methods.  Time is always of the essence, especially in the last few years you have with these kids before they go out on their own.  Finish what you started… you’re almost there.  They will be grateful to you... just not for about another 5-7 years!

If you want to know what can be done about your pain in the $%# teen, call for a free consultation.

Scott Spackey is a Certified Life-Coach, Hypnotherapist, Addiction Counselor and Interventionist. www.LIFE-MIND.com  Scott@Life-Mind.com  661-299-1966

DRUGS:

WHY REHAB RARELY WORKS

There is no debate about minor drugs leading to bigger drugs, but not everyone who smokes pot and parties with alcohol in high school turns into an addict.  We need to keep things in perspective, because no matter how much a parent may feel these behaviors are ultra dangerous, most teenagers feel it is a normal part of their young lives.  Contradicting something someone feels is true to their reality will only cause conflict.  The best thing to do to prevent these behaviors is to seek out a professional and let them evaluate and advise you how to proceed.  Pressure and lecturing never works, but there are methods that will be more effective.

Ultimately, what we want to prevent is hard drug use.  This is why the counsel of a professional is advised.  I recently heard a story about a family who put their teenager into a local SCV 30 day rehab for pot and alcohol.  The rehab center took them for $13,000 and the day the kid was released he went straight out and got high.  This facility should have rejected this kid and allowed only outpatient family treatment instead.  Treatment centers can be greedy and typically offer only generic, ineffective programs by underpaid, undertrained staff members.  While inside this “safe” house, the teenager was exposed to experienced drug users and learned there how to get high and cultivated a higher interest in narcotics and developed a hard core opiate addiction soon after.

My opinion is that rehab, recovery centers, treatment facilities only work when someone is ready to quit, and if not, only make things WORSE!  Once a family spends all that money and when the user feels nothing valuable took place for them, they lose faith in any help that might actually be effective.  A good program does not try to tell people who are not ready to quit that “drugs are bad, stop using them”.  It helps them grow up, mature and become more confident and self-realized.  Once that takes place, positive, non-destructive choices will follow automatically.  Call and consult BEFORE there is a big problem and try hard to listen to your loved ones who might be having problems and carefully question and scrutinize everything your told

Scott Spackey is a California Registered Addiction Specialist, Interventionist, Life-Coach and Clinical Hypnotherapist.    661-299-1966, Scott@Life-Mind.com

HOW TO GET SOMEONE OFF DRUGS

Anyone who has been unfortunate enough to have to deal with a family member or loved one whose an addict can tell you how unbelievably hopeless and frustrating it can be.  Even when you think they’ve quit they can relapse and slip back deeply into their addiction making it seem as though everything you did (or thought you did) was useless.  But this is not the case.  When I provide counseling to someone I know it might be some time before they come to the full realization that they need to make a commitment to recovery.  But I know that the counseling I provide accumulates within their mind and spirit and when the auspicious day arrives that they finally realize they NEED to stop, the methods and strategies they learned with me become activated and make it possible for them to succeed, even if they have moved on and are not actively in counseling. 

We cannot TELL someone to quit!  They already know it’s bad.  All we can do is help them mature quickly and help them to realize for themselves that they need to quit.  Family members and friends are not capable of bringing about this complex realization.

Partly this is due to the total misunderstanding between the addict and the supporting person.  Addicts are complex people, looking for something profound within themselves or in existence and drugs give them a glimpse of that, even though it is artificial and destructive.  If we are going to get them to quit, they need to figure out what it is they are truly seeking and realize that it is typically something more than just having a “normal” life of job, family, etc.  For many addicts this makes no sense to them but they don’t always know why.  We need to put them in touch with the intangible “something” they are looking for.  When they realize it and they desire it and that desire becomes greater than the desire to use, they will grow away from drugs and begin to pursue the meaning of their life.  There are many ways to convince a person to stop using at least temporarily and during that time, with counseling, they can realize a lot while they are clear headed and a new beginning can start.

Scott Spackey is a California Registered Addiction Specialist, Interventionist, Life-Coach and Clinical Hypnotherapist.    661-299-1966, Scott@Life-Mind.com

FOOD ISSUES AND EATING DISORDERS

When we think of food issues or eating disorders, the common person doesn’t typically group them with addiction problems.  But the characteristics of an eating disorder are so similar that they are actually a form of addiction.  The individual with an eating disorder, such as bulimia, actually experiences a euphoric rush from the act of binge eating, similar to that of a drug user.  The same brain chemistry and pleasure principles are involved in both drug use and binge eating.  This euphoric feeling makes it near impossible for the bulimic to control their behavior, even when they could die from their behavior.

Anorexics and drug addicts also share a common distortion of reality that creates shockingly dangerous and self-destructive behavior.  Even though these are two of the most widely known eating disorders, there are actually dozens of food issue problems people can have with behavior that ranges from life-threatening to obsession and life-disruption.  When someone has a food issue that is not life-threatening, such as an obsession of eating or not eating specific types of foods, it can cause major life-disruptions.  It can affect their ability to succeed in school, work or result in failed relationships with family or more intimate partners.  The lesser known eating issues are harder to diagnose and often go untreated, resulting in the issue developing into one of those more well known, life-threatening issues.

A healthy relationship with food can be complicated for many people.  Our culture puts such an unrealistic emphasis on appearances and self-control that the role food plays in our daily lives can become highly complicated.  How much is too much?  How much is not enough?  What kind of foods are good?  Carbs?  Fruits and sugars?  What about meat vs. vegetarianism?  Food is a sensual way to enjoy life, but for many, especially younger men and women and teens, the myriad of mixed messages in our society simply make issues out of food where there should be none.  In a fragile, analytical, suggestible mind, these mixed messages create confusion and blur lines of understanding making it impossible to develop maturely without over-analyzing and creating distorted  perceptions.  Some basic facts:

• 7 million women have food issues, 86% of those occur before 20 years old. 77% before 15.
• While anorexia is often observable, bulimics often look as normal as anyone else.
• A high percentage of eating disorder sufferers also develop alcohol and/or drug problems.

An untrained person should not attempt to diagnose or treat someone who may be suspected as having one of these issues as it could be very dangerous.  Consult a professional for a proper evaluation and treatment advice.

Scott Spackey is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Life-Counselor & CA. Reg. Addiction Specialist who works with all ages, children to adults, in the SCV.

 661-299-1966, www.LIFE-MIND.com, Scott@Life-Mind.com

Treating Addiction & Compulsive Behaviors

There are a lot of options for treating addiction and compulsive behaviors.  12 Step Meetings, in-patient facilities, out-patient facilities, mental health professionals, and the good old ‘do-it-yourself’ methods.

Of all of these, the least effective is the do-it-yourself method.  Regardless of how strong you and your family and support group is, it is simply not possible for the amateur to understand the uncharted territory of addiction and recovery.  Like a mountain climber needs a sherpa (guide) to climb Mt. Everest, so does a person need an experienced and trained guide to take them through the process of recovery.  The emotions, psychology and physiology of it is too dangerous and complex to do it alone.  The do-it-yourselfer experiences relapse after relapse before getting it right, making the expense much more than if they had just bit the bullet and got help in the first place.

12 Step fellowships are free and always around.  They have the experience of sober people and a well thought out program for sobriety.  However, they are still a “support group” and what they have in experience they lack in training and objectivity a professional can offer.  Some people find support groups “cult-like” and that they do not offer the kind of personal guidance that is needed.

In-patient facilities can be effective too.  However, this is usually only a consideration for the heavily, long-term addicted.  They are expensive and require a break from responsibilities and duties, which most people cannot afford to do.

Out-patient centers and clinics are more conducive to the average person’s lifestyle.  They can be inexpensive and very thorough and offer a more personal touch.  However, many of the helping professionals are limited in experience and efficacy.  They are underpaid and often lack the level of insight the complicated person needs.  I have great affection for the out-patient counselor because of their integrity and hard work, but I also recognize their limitations. 

Then there’s private, personal, out-patient, customized treatment.  Private counseling may seem more expensive on the surface, but it is much more personal and effective and over all can cost much less and take much less time to complete.  Explore ALL options through thoroughly.  Don’t lose a good life or loved one to these problems.  Don’t wait to reach out before it’s too late. 

Scott Spackey is a CA. Registered Addiction Specialist, Interventionist, Life-Coach and Hypnotherapist.  www.LIFE-MIND.com      Scott@Life-Mind.com             661-299-1966

Is Drinking a Habit or Something More?

For many people, drinking alcohol can enhance a social event or add something special to a good meal.  The majority of people are able to drink casually and socially without ever developing any sort of problem. Alcohol is an accepted part of our society and can be fun and harmless when it is used responsibly and controlled.

But what happens when our social or casual drinking becomes something more and how do we recognize it?  Here are a few warning signs:

• Planning or thinking ahead about drinking
• Skipping events or activities because they may not have alcohol or to stay home and drink
• Drinking more than we want or should, even if just a little

When we spend time thinking about that drink waiting for us at the end of the day this may develop into something more than merely a treat after a tough day.  When we choose to stay home or to skip events because they do not serve alcohol we are choosing drinking over life.  And a very common experience is that extra drink or two even when we know we’d feel better if we stopped where we were.  That extra drink or two does not make you an alcoholic and neither do any of these other situations. 

However, having the power to make better choices might make us feel better, both physically and mentally.  If you’ve ever wrestled with that extra drink and sometimes wake up with a little hang-over from it you may want to re-evaluate your habits.  There might be some very rewarding things you could be missing in life if you just skipped drinking or at least those extra ones.  If you want to get a little more control, here are a few tips:

• Count your drinks and leave the empties in plain view so you can be more conscious of how much you drink.  Making your drinking a conscious rather than an unconscious act can help you gain control.
• Decide on a limited number of drinks BEFORE you drink and stick to it.
• Limit your drinking to 2-3 days a week or less.  Choose days where there is something going on like a party or dinner rather than drinking alone or while doing nothing. 
• Spread out drinking days by at least a day between.  Try to avoid drinking two days in a row, even on weekends.

You don’t have to be an alcoholic to want to drink less or have greater control.  If you’ve have trouble controlling drinking, speak to a professional who can guide you.  Here’s to your health!

Scott Spackey is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Life-Counselor & CA. Reg. Addiction Specialist who works with all ages, children to adults, in the SCV.

 661-299-1966, www.LIFE-MIND.com, Scott@Life-Mind.com

TRAGEDY:

HOW LITTLE DRUGS LEAD TO BIG DRUGS

I work with a lot of kids and families.  Parents are worried when they see their kids “partying” and afraid this behavior will lead to worse things.  While its true that many kids will grow out of it with only a few losses, others may experiment until they try something they truly like and then get hooked in.  This is the event I work so hard at preventing.  While parents get upset and worried if I can’t always get their kids to stop “partying” (and usually I do get them to stop), I am focusing on educating them, listening to them and helping them mature and feel secure enough so when the terrible day comes that they are offered something truly dangerous, they will refuse it.

Addiction is horrible and I tell everyone I work with that drugs have personalities just like people do.  Somewhere out there is a drug that suits your personality and when you stumble across it you’re in huge trouble.  Addiction can happen in an instant; literally- in an instant!

NO ONE… ever says in their youth, “I’m gonna shoot heroin someday!”  In the beginning everyone has limitations and boundaries to their using.  But over time, as healthy friends move on, who is left to “party” with?  As these kids get older, they get bolder.  They get desensitized to different drugs and ways of using them.  If they continue to experiment, it is only a matter of time before they meet the drug they love and seems to love them back.  This is what keeps me up at night.  I’ve been there- all the way, into deep, hard, drug addiction.  And now I’m free and spend my time fighting for those who can’t see where their headed. 

Please, if you or someone you care for is “partying”, call and consult and evaluate to see if they could develop something more serious.  Begin a process of building maturity and confidence to prevent what could be years of derailment in an otherwise shining life.  Like any disease or disorder, catching it early can make ALL the difference.  There IS something you can do if you get smart, professional help.  You have nothing to lose by asking questions and everything to gain.  If someone has already begun heavy using, take action now.

Scott Spackey is a California Registered Addiction Specialist, Interventionist, Life-Coach and Clinical Hypnotherapist.    661-299-1966, Scott@Life-Mind.com

OPIATE EPIDEMIC IN SCV:

Opiates have become epidemic everywhere and our suburb is no exception. It’s important to know what opiates are, how they work and what to do if you suspect a family member of using them or if you yourself need help.  ALL opiates are highly and severely addicting, both physically and psychologically.  The story I hear as a counselor is almost always the same: It begins with a little pot in high school and by end of freshman year they are smoking regularly.  Pot these days is unbelievably potent and is in many ways a distant cousin to the opiate high.  By sophomore year they’ve tried a few Norcos, Vicodin or other prescription pain meds.  By Junior year these are gobbled in small handfuls and used more regularly and by Senior year they get turned on to Oxycontin, a powerful synthetic opiate that is crushed and snorted.  The high is great but Oxy’s are expensive so pretty soon they smoke a little heroin (many of them don’t know the difference between “opium” and “heroin” and there ISN’T one!).  Heroin is cheaper and soon they’re smoking regularly and severely addicted.  By the time they realize there’s a problem it’s too late.  These drugs are everywhere, as is Xanax, which is another highly addictive drug that is becoming epidemic.  Our laws do not protect us.  30% of prescription meds are on the streets.  Drug companies are nothing more than legalized dope cartels, killing our children.

Lookout for your kids and adult children who are heavy pot smokers and have their marijuana medical cards; this is often the precursor to opiate use.  If you suspect something, you can try to confront them in a caring way.  If they are listless, volatile and moody, ask if they need help. Are they spending money they don’t have, staying very busy without a job?  Most readers know how I feel about our local drug treatment centers (they suck and rehab doesn’t work).  Most addicts want help and they want a program that will be supportive, allow them to live at home and break their addiction without treating them like punks or kids. You should always begin with a phone call for an evaluation with a professional.  Make sure the program they attempt is one THEY feel they will respond to and not the same old thing.

Scott Spackey is a California Registered Addiction Specialist, Interventionist, Life-Coach and Clinical Hypnotherapist.    661-299-1966, Scott@Life-Mind.com

The Pleasure Principle

Human beings are pleasure principled beings.  This means that we are pre-programmed, genetically, philosophically and spiritually, to seek pleasure and avoid pain.  This seems elementary, yet it is this pain/pleasure principle that makes kicking a habit or addiction so difficult.  I see all walks of life in my office; young teenagers who have difficulty regulating the role that pot should play in their youthful lives, soccer moms who just want to stop recreational, casual drinking, crytal meth users, young adults who just like to “party” and use a little too much coke or booze or ecstasy.  You don’t have to be a fall-down drunk or hard core addict to make the discovery we all make when we decide to change a habit: that it is much more difficult then we think it’s going to be.

The reason for this is because of the pain/pleasure principle.

Absolutely everything we experience gets divided into these 2 categories: Pain or Pleasure.  If it pleasurable, the brain and mind make a record of that experience and store it.  Where it is stored is proportionate to the degree of how pleasurable or painful an experience is.  The more pleasurable, the more in the forefront of consciousness it is stored for easy retrieval.  The mind’s job is to re-experience pleasure so it creates certain conditions to attain pleasure.  It whispers sweet nothings to you like, “c’mon… cookies are good” in an attempt to convince you to eat them, even though they may be bad for you.  The greater the experience of pleasure and the longer you have experienced it, the more amplified its attempts to convince you.  Now, I don’t care what anyone says: drugs feel GREAT.  It feels GREAT to get high, to have sex and to eat cookies too!  Since drugs go straight to the pleasure centers of the brain and feel great, the mind works overtime trying to re-experience it.  It makes no difference that you consciously understand drugs or alcohol is bad for you, the pleasure principle overrides reason 10 to 1.  There is an easier way to get back on track and take control of this, and every other area of your life.  Get the guidance and training a professional can give you and you can be in control easily and quickly.  Why waste time?

Scott Spackey is a CA. Registered Addiction Specialist, Interventionist, Life-Coach and Hypnotherapist.  www.LIFE-MIND.com      Scott@Life-Mind.com             661-299-1966

Prescription Addiction

Whether it is for physical, emotional or psychological healing it is easy to get a prescription for your problem.  However, the medical industry has become overly reliant on medications to solve problems and doles them out irresponsibly as well.

Let’s clear something up right away: Medications are almost always going to give you more problems in the long run and the negative consequences almost always outweigh the positive ones- and this goes for almost everyone!

That’s right: Unless you are suffering from a severe disorder like schizophrenia or psychosis, it is unlikely that you need medications and without a doubt you are developing a physical and possibly emotional reliance and dependence upon them.

The psychiatric community is overly generous in diagnosing and people with problems and then prescribing meds. What the psychiatric community ought to be doing is helping people learn how to cope, adjust life-expectations and teaching strategies for coping that work rather than masking symptoms and ignoring core issues.  Maybe your not bi-polar or depressed and in need of meds.  Maybe you have real issues and can learn to improve them.

As a State Certified Addiction Specialist I am constantly fighting an uphill battle against prescribed meds.  Did you know that Xanax is a highly addicting and dangerous benzodiazepine?  That Vicodin is a highly addictive drug similar to heroin?  That Adderol is frighteningly similar to the most sinister drug destroying our youth today, methamphetamine?

Over time, the mind and body adjust to these drugs and they cease to work.  Once they stop working they actually intensify many of the symptoms they are designed to treat.  When you try to stop taking them you put your health at risk; sometimes your life!  Most people continue taking them feeling safe and only mildly affected giving them a false sense of security without realizing how dangerous they are.   

We have become a society that thinks of medicine as a first solution instead of a last resort and it should be the other way around.  See a professional counselor who can teach you coping skills, emotional management and strategies and process life on your own terms and achieve and maintain happiness.

Call for a free evaluation of your diagnosis and medication use.  Affordable drug screening and testing is available for youths and families.

Scott Spackey is a CA. Registered Addiction Specialist, Interventionist, Life-Coach Hypnotherapist & Bio-Feedback Technician

www.LIFE-MIND.com             661-299-1966                        Scott@Life-Mind.com

SEX & SHOPLIFTING

Sometimes the need to do something can be overwhelming.  It can become so overwhelming it can become painful.  This type of pain is not physically painful like a broken arm, but mental anguish is often much more severe than physical pain and can even manifest with physical symptoms.

When you suffer from mental anguish you feel like you could die.  You feel like you are dying.  Worse, you feel like you want to die. 

Mental anguish is not in the imagination.  The mind has its own survival, Fight or Flight, mechanisms.  When activated they cause extreme mental anguish and even physical suffering.  When activated they become compulsions.  Gambling, sex and shoplifting are just a few of the more common forms of compulsory behaviors that can cause someone to suffer from mental anguish.  The suffering is so complete and overwhelming that the mind actually convinces the person that it would rather die than to suffer another moment.  Once the behavior (sex, shoplifting, etc.) is satisfied, the mental anguish turns into a euphoric feeling of relief and satisfaction.  But this euphoric feeling is very temporary and soon the discomfort begins again and intensifies until the suffering begins all over again.  The mind then learns that in order to attain the euphoric feeling, the anguish must be inflicted first.

For the man or woman who suffers from sex, shoplifting or any other compulsive behavior, their lives are literally in danger.  These behaviors can lead to disease, prison, chronic depression, anxiety and even suicide.   People suffering need help while too often what they get is criticism and misunderstanding from a legal system or loved ones. 

The compulsive person has a defect, but this defect is not a moral one as many people think.  It is a subconscious one.  The subconscious mind has determined that something essential is missing.  This missing thing could be love, validation, attention, material security or something else that is typically unknown to the conscious mind.  Whatever the mind feels deprived of, it has now formed an unhealthy way of satisfying itself: The compulsion.

Compulsions and addictions are difficult to treat.  Sex and gambling are legal and socially acceptable.  The temptation to steal is everywhere.  To effectively treat compulsive behavior, the subconscious mind must be addressed rather than the conventional forms of treatment.  By treating the symptoms and destroying the cause at its source the problem can finally be solved.  If you or anyone you know suffers from any type of destructive behavior then you should call for professional help. 

Scott Spackey is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Life-Counselor & CA. Reg. Addiction Specialist who works with all ages, children to adults, in the SCV.

 661-299-1966, www.LIFE-MIND.com, Scott@Life-Mind.com

KIDS SMOKING POT

By 13 years old 9.9% of kids have tried pot.  That’s one out of ten.  That’s alarming.  How do you stop it?  Can you stop it?  When you try, it seems to go in one ear and right out.  You tell them, “You’re making bad choices”, “Your throwing away a perfect life”, “you’re ruining your opportunities…all that you’ve worked for”.  You tell them it leads to other things, that they would be happier without it, that it rots their brains and slows down their ambition and drive and that it makes it difficult for them to succeed and be healthy both mentally and physically.

It’s good advice, so why won’t they listen?

Because it’s not their experience.  They can understand academically, that drugs do all these things.  But it is not their experience.  They enjoy it, just like so many of you did when you were their age; which is how many of you know it leads nowhere.  They do not experience the mental slow down or the physical lethargy- it’s happening, but it happens so slowly they do not recognize it.  So, since they hear what you’re saying, but their experience is in contradiction to it they don’t believe you.  The more you talk about it, the more they feel you’re either lying or exaggerating the situation.  You lose credibility and then the worse thing happens- they stop listening to other things too!

We all know that each individual needs to CHOOSE to do or not do something.  It has to come from their own mind and of their own free-will for it to stick.  As a counselor, I do not “tell” my clients what to do.  I “lead” them to the right conclusion.  I am patient, realistic, talk openly about both the costs and the benefits of getting high.  I can afford to be this way- they’re not my kids so I can remain objective!  Something you cannot.

If you want your kids to “straighten out” or just avoid the whole thing altogether- you have to accept that “choosing” is a process.  “Graduating” clients to levels of awareness and leading them to the right conclusions so they can begin to choose for themselves.  They are the ones who choose either way.  All that is left is what their choices will be.

Scott Spackey is a State Certified Addiction Counselor, Life-Coach, Hypnotherapist, and Interventionist. www.LIFE-MIND.com  Scott@Life-Mind.com  661-299-1966

Who’s Using Drugs?

Some of the most abused drugs today are prescription medications.  Xanax, Prozac, Oxycontin, Depakote, Adderol, Vicodin and all other types of anti this and that’s.

Whose abusing them?  Adults who are overmedicating and often in denial, saying they need the extra dosage and kids who are pilfering these meds from their parents and then selling them and/or taking them to get high.  Often both within the same household.

The typical signs of use are tricky, even for the most aware parent or family member.  First things first: Keep an eye on medication levels and know how much is being used and when to prevent theft or overuse.  Don’t use beyond prescribed amounts- revisit your doctor to adjust levels if you need more relief rather than regulate on your own.  Kids will often have mood changes, contempt, lethargy, apathy and keep irregular hours, but sober teens do this too.  The best thing to do is sit down with your kids or family member and simply ask them.  Without judgment and with total respect, just ask them.

Remember that just because someone you know may be using, they may not be an addict.  Yet.  The span between using and addiction is precarious and short.  Addiction sneaks up on you; no one starts out an addict.  When parents or others try to enforce a zero tolerance policy, this often makes thing worse as the user just becomes more secretive and more conflicts arise.

Unfortunately, as human beings we need to self-validate everything for ourselves.  This means that even when people we trust tell us something is harmful, we don’t listen and insist on finding this out for ourselves.  The average parent and person are ill-equipped to deal with a burgeoning drug or alcohol issue.  A professional counselor who is trained in these discussions can help you evaluate the situation and offer advice on how to proceed.  Sometimes you cannot get someone to stop right away.  But by getting them educated on the realities and helping them at least slow down and regulate their use by putting limitations and boundaries they may act more responsibly and slowly begin to consider stopping.  Don’t ever wait or lose your patience with a potential user, even yourself.  Take the care to handle things right before it’s too late.

Scott Spackey is a CA. Registered Addiction Specialist, Interventionist, Life-Coach and Hypnotherapist.  www.LIFE-MIND.com      Scott@Life-Mind.com             661-299-1966

Your Brain On Drugs

It’s a common misconception that a little can’t hurt you.  Like having a donut for breakfast.  While that donut for breakfast may not be that bad it interferes with the body’s resources to function at maximum capacity.  It’s just a little donut, but, unbeknownst to you, your body’s chemistry is working feverishly to compensate for this toxic invader.  So, one donut won’t kill you, but if you eat just one donut every day for a month…if you’re over 35, you will feel, and see, the difference.  This is an accumulated effect.  The seemingly harmless and socially acceptable levels of alcohol you drink or pot someone smokes, or prescription meds also have an accumulative affect.  Ultimately, these things block the body and brain’s natural resources from functioning at maximum capacity.  If you are beyond 35 and like to get a good buzz now and again, you’re brain is experiencing the negative effects of these drugs even when you are not using them!  The reason you don’t “notice” this is because you have lost the capacity to compare your natural state of well-being to the diminished state your actually in.  Only when someone is “clean” from these toxins for over 3 months can they begin to notice the actual benefits of quitting. 

If you are under 35, you may not be feeling the long term effects at all because your metabolism is strong and is able to compensate.  But the negative affects are adding up fast.  Because they don’t feel it, kids and young adults don’t believe us when we tell them drinking and drugs hurt them… slowly, but surely.

If you regularly drink, smoke, toke, pop, etc. you are, in some mild form, addicted to a behavior.  If you want to feel the best you can and get the most out of life, it’s time to quit and put childish things behind you.  Quitting a habit can be tricky and you don’t have to be an addict to need a little assistance.  And if you want to get your kids to listen and stay clean, then you MUST lead by example.  This goes for more than just drugs and drinking, but for all negative behaviors.

Everyone who quits is happier and healthier.  Quitting is inevitable, so why not now? 

Scott Spackey is a State Certified Addiction Counselor, Life-Coach, Hypnotherapist, and Interventionist. www.LIFE-MIND.com  Scott@Life-Mind.com  661-299-1966

CRYSTAL METH: LOSE YOUR MIND

It isn't only my opinion that meth is the most sinister and dangerous drug out there.  The DEA knows it, addicts know it, the government knows it.  I write more often about heroin and opiates so why do say now that meth is more dangerous?  Opiate addicts can be, as all addicts, liars and thieves if that's what they need to do to get dope.  But compared to meth addicts they are docile.  When heroin users are loaded they are usually just taking up space, mellowed in the euphoria of their high.  But meth addicts, AKA "tweekers", are speeded out and up all night ready and willing to get into trouble.  The drug twists their thinking not only about drugs and morality but it twists their thinking into bizarre patterns that can make them notorious and lethal outlaws.  As a meth addict myself, my friends were a grotesque part of a major forgery and crime ring that terrorized the SFV for a decade.  The drug is usually combined with bizarre sexual habits that distort the addicts thinking even more. 

Meth labs are potential neighborhood bombs with their explosive and corrosive chemicals as meth's main ingredients are an over-the-counter cold medicine boiled down in a propane like fuel.  The crazy chemists making their drug often set trip-wire booby traps so law enforcement raiders explode or are exposed to toxic chemicals.  A regular part of the meth drug task force is hazmat suits and heavily equipped vehicles that make military humvees look tame.  Meth is highly toxic and totally chemical.

Meth affects the adrenal gland and the production of neurotransmitters that heighten awareness to a paranoid state causing meth users to live in a surreal state of conspiracies and delusional drama; awake too long and they see "shadow people", can become violent and similar to a paranoid-schizophrenic. They rarely seek help because, unlike heroin with its physical detox, meth withdrawals make them "crash" (sleep); I once slept almost 20 hours a day for a month when I kicked.  The depression from "coming down" is horrifying as a death-like psychological paralysis grips their minds and behaviors, often triggering suicidal or even homicidal thoughts (remember the guy who drove the tank through the streets of socal?).  These can last for days or weeks, and even months in a milder form.

I believe it is the hardest drug addiction to treat and as a meth addict I am qualified to do so. 

NO SUCH THING AS A FUNCTIONING ADDDICT

This community is suffering from an invisible illness: A large percentage of our kids and family members are addicted to drugs; most prominently opiates such as Oxycontin, Norco, Vicodin and other “prescribed” medications as well as heroin which is typically smoked, but more and more we’re seeing cases of IV use.  We have meth and ecstasy and other issues too, but the opiates are taking over fast.  The attraction our youth (and many adults) have to them is more than just the euphoric feeling they provide.  Once they are accustomed to the high, they can usually work, go to school and other “functioning” type behaviors that allow them to convince themselves they don’t have a problem until it is way too late.  I always say, “By the time you figure out your addict… you’ve been one for a long time.”

It isn’t as though the working addict or student addict is actually succeeding in spite of their drug use.  Obviously, their performance begins to deteriorate and soon life becomes dreadful and they are entrenched deeply in addiction.  This is why there’s no such thing as a functioning addict.  I hate that term!  I was an addict for over a decade and I worked, had relationships, my own apartment and all of this only prolonged my addiction. The only thing that was fully functioning in my life was my addiction.  There’s no such thing as a functioning addict, only an addict with a job or one who’s getting an education, etc.

I hope we’re getting smarter and realizing that our addicts are not these scummy, derelict looking, delinquent types we conjure in our heads.  We live in a good community and my clients are good kids who go to college, get good grades (before), have good jobs our own their businesses.  Addicts can be suffering right under your nose and you might not know it.  It is so easy to get yourself lost in addiction; good kids, smart kids, successful and ambitious kids and adults; no one is immune to this debilitating disorder.  But there is a scientific method and understanding of this disorder and how to treat it.  Don’t postpone getting answers and getting back on track and remember to choose a professional who is exclusively qualified to deal with addictions and has been through recovery themselves.

Sick & Tired of Being Sick & Tired

What is it like to be an addict, caught in the seemingly endless cycle of using, recovering, shame & failure?  The non-addict might think an addict is having fun, doing whatever they want and indulging themselves at everyone’s expense.  In the beginning stages, there is some truth to this.  But as abuse continues, it becomes a prison for the individual as well as others.  No non-addict can ever understand the death-like paralysis that grips the addict’s heart and life as they are compelled by an unseen and impossible to understand force to use even though they KNOW that using will be followed by a shame that is so deep it can make living unbearable.  The compulsion to use is sinister, sneaky and powerful.  It knows the addict’s fears, insecurities and vulnerabilities and lays traps to get them loaded and hold them in the addictive pattern of using and unsuccessfully quitting.  Family and others are powerless to stop the addict who traps them in an enabling relationship; damned if they do, damned if they don’t.  Nothing seems to work and it becomes impossible not to feel angry if you’re a loved one and like a failure and a disappointment if you’re the addict.  Feelings of failure make you want to give up; just what your addiction wants you to feel and so it preys on that feeling and forces you to use again and again and again…

A common saying is that you can’t force an addict to get help until he’s ready.  I disagree.  There are so many ways to intervene.  Addiction is a tough adversary and we have to get mean and dirty and tough ourselves if we want to beat it.  Addiction is a 400 pound gorilla, but a good plan can be an 800 pound gorilla if we are willing to fight with every resource and take control of the process without apologies.  I’ve GPS’d people’s cars and dragged them away from using, confiscated drugs, put them under lock and key… whatever and whenever… we must fight to save someone’s life.  Never think there isn’t more that can be done; there’s always more we can do if we’re willing to try again.

Xanax has become one of the most prolific drugs in our society.  I complained once to a medical (ear) doctor about stress and she asked me if I would like a prescription for Xanax.  I told her as a medical doctor without any training in behavioral or emotional issues she was unqualified to recommend it let alone prescribe it.  The public does not seem to know the dangers of this drug.  It is prescribed to treat anxiety.  Anxiety is not a disorder anymore, it is a symptom of modern living.  It does not require a drug to treat it, it requires coaching and training in new coping strategies and mechanisms.  Once someone tries it during an episode of anxiety they get results; the drug works very effectively.  At that first moment, the brain recognizes the remedy and records the fact that it no longer needs to try to deal with stress organically, instead it only needs to give you the impulse to take the drug; like a hamster in a cage hitting a lever for water or food.  Xanax is one of the most addictive drugs available and the withdrawals can even be lethal; not even heroin withdrawals are lethal.  If someone stops taking Xanax the withdrawal symptoms are intense anxiety and nausea.  The person is then convinced that, indeed, the Xanax is truly needed since without it they experience anxiety.  It is a self-perpetuating situation now.  Xanax is widely abused by kids in our community.  The symptoms are obvious: disjointed speech, slurring words, "out-of-it" behavior, inability to articulate ideas or stay on topic.  Xanax is cheap and is often also used to enhance the buzz from alcohol, pot and other pills like Norco's or Oxy's.  Many families are fooled into believing that their kids "need" it and are only taking it as prescribed.  I see dozens of cases where "prescribed" amounts are way too much.  Our community has a serious problem with pills in general.  Xanax is in too many homes and too widely prescribed.  We cannot rely on our medical community to keep us safe, they lack the incentive and the awareness of the harm these drugs really do.  Please feel free to call to learn more and do not underestimate the danger in your kids (or your) life due to this or other "meds".

ADDICTION:

FAMILIES IN PAIN

As an addiction counselor I see a lot of families in tremendous pain.  It is the hardest part of my job and the only comfort is knowing that if I work hard and get them to work hard that the pain they experience can be transmuted into joy and healing and an even more profound appreciation for life than they ever had before.  Often when I meet them they are exhausted from trying to help their addicted loved one and want to give up.

Don’t give up.  As a recovered addict I can tell you that every attempt my family made over the years during my using contributed to my ultimate sobriety.  I thank God that my mom never stopped loving me and wanting more for me; it was a beacon of light that I was drawn to when everything else seemed so dark and black.  I know why so many loved ones are ready to quit; it can seem so hopeless- investing time, money and emotion only to see their addicted loved one relapse to drugs.  But when it pays off you will not regret one cent you spent, one tear you shed or one hour you lost and they will truly be grateful to you.  I know.

Don’t think of giving up because things haven’t worked- try something different.  I recently heard a recovered addict on TV tell about how he was only second to Robert Downey Jr. in rehab visits with near 100 times.  This is not a persistent addiction, this is a failed recovery system.  A real program that is more interested in saving a client than meeting their profit quotas KNOWS how to get that addict to hit rock bottom without taking 100 opportunities to do it.  Once rock bottom is hit, the recovery process can begin.  It isn’t the time, money and emotion that is being wasted it is where and how you spend it that counts.  Recovering families are going to suffer; that’s a fact.  But that suffering can, and should, be productive- towards an end that is definable and attainable.  As counselor’s we need to draw a straight line between using and sobriety and do everything we can to get the addict to walk that line without detour. That’s not the family’s job, it’s mine.

HITTING BOTTOM

Hitting bottom is a term used in addiction recovery to define the moment of realization an addict has when he sees himself objectively for the first time as a true addict who can and MUST recover.  It is a moment when that crystallizes into the realization that, “I can not live like this for a single moment more…”

I have often referred to my own “hitting bottom” moment as the best and worst day of my life.  The best because it was the day I knew I would recover from an over decade long drug addiction and the worst because the pain I experienced as I finally saw myself for the disgusting, worthless fiend I truly was; without filter or excuses, I finally realized who I was and what I was doing to myself.  That pain was deeper than any physical pain since it went to the core of my spiritual self; something eternal and essential.  Then began the long, long journey through recovery to sobriety.  16 years later I am still clean.

As a counselor, my job is not just to get people to get clean because many addicts have not FULLY realized their addiction.  My job is to get them to that realization without hitting bottom.  Why?

Because bottom is emotional and spiritual devastation and it is traumatic.  I don’t want others to have to lose themselves (and loved ones and property) before they finally commit to recovery.

I recognize a counselor’s job as helping the client mature as a person in character and virtue so they can make the inevitable conclusion that getting clean is the only option.  The maturation process can take time, but once you get a person to commit on their own personal level they will make it for good.  Too many addicts, families and treatment programs think the work is all about abstinence; getting the addict to stop at all costs.  I am willing to tolerate some addictive behaviors in my programs if I can find a way to use them as leverage, incentives and life-lessons towards ultimate sobriety.  Sobriety is different than abstinence.  Abstinence means not using whereas sobriety implies a new attitude and perspective of self and one’s existence.  Don’t wait for bottom, start now to escape it and get living again.